A man went on Reddit to ask if he was wrong not to donate to a childhood bully’s cancer treatment after a former classmate asked him and others to contribute.
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The user, identified as Quirky-Importance-81, went on the subreddit “Am I The A**hole” to ask if he made the right decision regarding his childhood bully Brad’s cancer treatment fund. He writes, “So apparently my former classmate Brad (26M) has been diagnosed with a rare form of Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, and his family is raising 50k on GoFundMe to help cover the cost of his treatment. Brad used to treat me like sh*t in high school, constantly making fun of my weight and calling me offensive nicknames. I can’t say I felt good when I learned about his diagnosis, but I didn’t shed any tears either.”
He added that a girl named Anna added him and several former classmates to a group chat to share the GoFundMe link, asking to donate any money if possible. Afterward, they would have to give a thumbs up after donating. However, Quirky did not and said he refused because Brad bullied him relentlessly. Anna and his former classmates said he was acting like an a**hole for not doing so.
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“Anna noticed this and tagged me, asking me if I saw her message. That’s when I wrote that I didn’t plan to donate because of the way Brad treated me in high school. Anna and a few other guys said that I was acting like an asshole, that we are grown-ups now, and this stuff is the past.I left the group because I didn’t want to argue with these people. None of them stood up for me when Brad was bullying me, and most of them laughed at his dumb jokes.”
Quirky asked if he was wrong for not doing so, and other Redditors shared their own thoughts on the situation. One user said, “When did it become OK to call out a person in public for not donating to some cause? That’s, to me, the gross behavior here, was she trying to shame you into donating? Even if he was the nicest guy on the planet, you are in no way obligated to donate money if you don’t want to.” Another explained, “I also find it kind of bizarre that at their age, they’re reaching out to high school classmates not just friends that they’ve somehow maintained more contact than a brief glance at their Facebook profile, but classmates they haven’t been around in approaching a damn DECADE.”
Anna was also called a bully for not respecting Quirky’s wishes, as she and the entire group chat called him childish for not letting go of the trauma stemming from bullying.
Recent studies have shown that childhood bullying has lifelong psychological damage as it can lead to social anxiety and potentially personality disorders.