This Monday, Nick Cannon has taken to social media to pay tribute to his late son Zen Cannon on the first anniversary of his passing.
In a series of sweet pics with his baby boy, Nick Cannon included a lengthy caption where he admitted that he’s still “mentally and spiritually broken” after losing his son… even despite how hard he’s been trying to stay positive.
“Physically I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken. Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary. Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experience that I will never get over.”
As he continued to speak on he and Alyssa Scott’s son who was just 5 months old when he died from a malignant brain tumor back in December 2021, Nick continued to say that he feels “A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart. I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth.”
Further into his post, Nick revealed that he’s still in the hospital as he battles pneumonia but said he will be ok and asked his fans to refrain from sending prayers.
“One of my Spiritual Leaders recently told me that I am in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons of my life, but encouraged me to be steadfast and know that all of this will only make me stronger, and to not lean on my own understanding but to rely on the the peace that surpasses all. But let me tell you, it’s tough… I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now… 💔Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you Eternally.”
Last year, Nick announced the heartbreaking news while he was live during his talk show. While speaking with People Magazine shortly after, he explained why he decided not to treat the infant with any invasive treatments, instead opting to give him the most comfortable life to live.
“We started asking, ‘Is there a way to prevent this? If not, how long do we have?'” Cannon told People magazine. “The conversations quickly turned to, ‘How can we give him the best life for the time that he does have?’ It could be weeks, it could be months, it could be years. We were having quality-of-life conversations,” he said. “We could have had that existence where he would’ve had to live in the hospital, hooked up to machines, for the rest of the time.”
Further speaking on how they tried to make Zen enjoy his life with the little time that he had, Nick said at the time, “We focused on Disneyland, our favorite place,” Cannon said. “Every month we would celebrate his birthday, just really seeing it as a victory every time he had a milestone that he was still here with us.”
RELATED: Nick Cannon Explains Decision Not To Treat Son Zen With Chemo: ‘I Didn’t Want Him To Suffer
Zen died on December 5th.
Nick Cannon and Alyssa Scott are now expecting their second child together. They confirmed the news back in October on Instagram. This would reportedly be his 12th child.