Lady Gaga Reveals She Got Pregnant At 19 After Being Raped By A Producer In Tearful New Interview
In the premiere episode of “The Me You Can’t See,” a new docuseries co-created by Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry that aims to tackle the stigma around mental health, superstar Lady Gaga bravely opened up about her past pain and trauma.
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During the episode, Gaga talked about being sexually assaulted as a teenager, revealing she suffered a “total psychotic break” years after being left pregnant by her alleged rapist. While recalling her harrowing experience through tears, Gaga explained, “I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off,'” she recalled.
She went on to explain, “And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and then I just froze and I just … I don’t even remember.” She added, “I understand this #Metoo movement, I understand that some others feel really comfortable with this, and I do not, I do not ever want to face that person again,” the singer said while explaining why she will not name her alleged attacker. “This system is so abusive, it’s so dangerous.”
The “Poker Face” singer then revealed she got pregnant following the attack when she explained how, years later, she was advised by a doctor to see a psychiatrist for her chronic pain, where she was then diagnosed with PTSD. In 2016, she went public with her diagnosis.
“First, I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. Then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after,” she explained. “And I realized it was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on the corner, at my parents’ house, because I was vomiting, and sick. Because I’d been being abused, I was locked away in a studio for months.” Gaga admitted she went on to experience a “total psychotic break”, which the show suggested occurred around 2018.
“The way that I feel when I feel pain is how I felt after I was raped,” she said. “I’ve had so many MRIs and scans. They don’t find nothing, but your body remembers.”
During the episode, Gaga also discussed having impulses to self-harm: “It’s a really very real thing to feel like there’s a black cloud following you wherever you go, telling you that you’re worthless and should die. And I used to scream and throw myself against the wall.”
She explained, “You know why it’s not good to cut? You know why it’s not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it’s not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse. You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing somebody, ‘Hey, look, I’m in pain.’ It doesn’t help. I always tell people ‘Tell somebody, don’t show somebody.'”
At 35, Gaga is still working on healing and her process involves “trying to make sure I give back with that experience, instead of, I don’t know, locking it away and faking it.”
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