Country singer, Jimmie Allen recently spoke about a dark time in his life when he contemplated suicide after being accused of sexual assault.
During an emotional interview with Kathie Lee Gifford, the singer revealed that he thought about taking his own life “every single day” after being hit with those allegations. “It hit me. My life insurance covers suicide,” he told Gifford. “I don’t feel that way now, but in that moment, when you feel like you have nothing in the midst of a society where it’s no longer innocent until proven guilty, you know you’re guilty. She said this, so it must be true.” He continued, “I moved everything over to one phone, all my evidence, pictures, text messages, videos, everything. I was putting bullets in my gun clip. Right when I put the last bullet in, this was the freaky thing. I don’t get notifications to my phone… a text came through.”
“My friend Chuck [Adams] texted me. He said, ‘Ending it isn’t the answer.’ When I read those words that he text me, I read them again. I just stopped. I remember I called one of my buddies and he came up. I gave him my gun. I said, ‘Take it. I don’t need it.’ My mom flew in, and then I started receiving phone calls from different artists checking in on me, saying they love me, they care about me, they know who I am.”
In the interview, he explained how he got professional help after contemplating suicide because the accusations made him fall into a depression.
“Every single day, I remember battling: Do I want to live? Do I not want to live?” he said. “When bills get due. I’m like, ‘Man, my family would have X amount of dollars if I would’ve taken care of something,’ but I realized that’s not the way to do it.”
“After a few months, I started to look at the situation different. It went from, ‘God, why is this happening to me?’ to ‘God, what am I supposed to learn?'” he added.
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As we previously reported, the first lawsuit against Allen was filed last May, the multiplatinum singer was accused of raping his former day-to-day manager, who alleged she endured continuous assault and abuse over the course of 18 months while she was working on the musician’s team. In June of last year, the Grammy-nominated singer was hit with another lawsuit from a second woman who claimed she filed a police report after Allen secretly filmed her during sex in a Las Vegas hotel room.
While speaking on the troubling time Allen admitted that he found his purpose after the allegations which is his children.
“[I want] to continue to be honest with myself and being honest with everyone else,” he told Gifford. “I am healing and growing for me and my children,” he concluded.