There is a moment in Jeremy Tyler’s memoir Fitting In that stays with you. After ten hard years in prison, Jeremy finally gets to have his first meal as a free man: a bowl of avgolemono soup. The smooth mix of lemon, rice, and chicken transports him back to his Grandmother Yia Yia’s kitchen, where the food was warm, and so was the love of family and culture. That one spoonful brings back memories of the affection that influenced his early existence and years of hard work. This picture conveys a great deal about the relationship between food and culture, and how they are tied to our identity.
Tyler’s narrative revolves around family, culture, faith, and his lifelong quest for a sense of belonging. The memoir examines how family can be both a source of strength and a source of struggle. For example, it discusses how he had to cope with the inconsistencies of his Greek heritage and the disagreements within his family’s beliefs.
The Greek Matriarchs
Two strong women, his Yia Yia and Nana, were the anchors of Jeremy’s childhood. They were emblems of strength and kindness, and each one left a lasting impression on their journey.
His Greek grandmother, Yia Yia, was the epitome of unconditional love. She told stories by integrating Greek poems into everyday life, usually over platters of spanakopita and baklava. One poem in particular, about a sailboat that refuses to sink even when a storm hits, became Jeremy’s motto during the most challenging times of his life. Her experience, which included living in war-torn Greece and being forced to marry at seventeen, didn’t make her tough. Instead, she brought happiness and kindness to her new home in the United States. Her laughter filled the air, and Jeremy felt safe and loved in her kitchen.
Nana was different in personality, yet she still had a calm strength. She had been through a lot of tragedy, yet she showed Jeremy how important it is to be kind and give. She became a symbol of survival and caring, and he couldn’t stop thinking about her when she died. While he was in prison, thoughts of both women kept him going.
Jeremy’s Greek background had a significant impact on what he loved to do. Cooking wasn’t simply something to do; it was a means for him to feel safe and at home again as he did when he was a kid. He dreamed of Greek dishes like moussaka and galaktoboureko even when he was in a prison cell. After he got out of prison, Mouse School felt like the beginning of his destiny, a reference to the things his matriarchs had taught him.
Belief and Conflict
Jeremy’s grandma was Greek Orthodox, which gave her warmth and ritual. But Jeremy’s family had a stricter set of beliefs. His mother was a devoted Jehovah’s Witness who had left her Orthodox background behind when she was a teenager. That choice caused some stress in the family. It delivered Jeremy a childhood whole with rules and limits.
He didn’t have any holidays, birthdays, or even modest parties when he was growing up. When he was a youngster, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t have a cupcake at a friend’s celebration. However, as he grew older, he began to feel the effects of being left out.
The biggest fight was when Jeremy started to figure out his sexuality. His mother’s religion taught him that he couldn’t embrace who he was. He didn’t say anything since he was afraid of losing her love. Even after prison, he chose not to have sex with her because he didn’t want to chance being turned down. It’s sad to see the sacrifices he made to keep his family together.
His grandmother’s open-minded Orthodox faith and his mother’s strict Witness beliefs were at odds with one another, which caused him a lot of stress. Jeremy was caught between two worlds: one that celebrated life through food, family, and rituals, and another that judged and excluded people.
Family as a Rock and a Problem
Jeremy’s family gave him affection, but they also hurt him. There was a lot of tension between him and his father. His father wasn’t harsh, but he had a hard time understanding Jeremy’s feelings and artistic interests. He wanted a son who liked sports, not one who found comfort in literature and music. Jeremy spent years trying to fill this gap, often by exceeding his needs in both business and fitness.
At the same time, his mother only loved him if he did what she wanted. Her faith-based condemnation of Jeremy’s sexuality made their bond shaky. Jeremy still wanted her to accept him, even if it meant giving up a part of himself.
There were other times when things were good and happy. Jeremy remembers taking care of his Yia Yia’s garden, baking with his mom, and feeling loved during the summers he spent in Greece. These memories served as emotional anchors, reminding him that family could also be a haven.
Many readers, especially those from immigrant households, will find this push-and-pull dynamic familiar. Many people struggle to strike a balance between their cultural heritage and personal freedom. Jeremy’s narrative does a great job of showing this issue.
Finding the right balance between heritage and healing
Jeremy is still trying to figure out how to put these aspects of himself together by the end of Fitting In. He still loves his grandmother’s poems and cooks her food to keep her memory alive. At the same time, he’s learning how to set limits and eliminate notions that don’t benefit him.
His experience demonstrates how family can have a significant impact on us, sometimes helping us and at other times holding us back. It reminds us that our heritage is a gift, but it can also be a burden. In the end, Fitting In isn’t about Jeremy trying to fit in with others. He needs to make room for himself to honor his roots while also being true to himself.
When Jeremy eats that dish of avgolemono, it’s not just a memory; it’s a taste. It stands for survival, connection, and hope. It shows that you can still find the sense of home, even after years of being alone and suffering, often in the most unexpected places.