Chrissy Teigen Opens Up About Pregnancy Loss And Her Choice To Share Photos Of Experience
Weeks after suffering a pregnancy loss, Chrissy Teigen found the strength to gather enough words to give concerned fans an update on how shes doing. In a candid and very heartbreaking essay, Teigen looks back on her devastating experience.
In her essay posted to Medium on Tuesday, the model and cookbook author opens up about being diagnosed “with partial placenta abruption,” while recalling the moments she was hospitalized due to heavy bleeding up to the point when “it was time to say goodbye” to her baby.
“Hi. I had no idea when I would be ready to write this,” she wrote in her piece. “Part of me thought it would be early on, when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened.” Aside from those feelings, Teigen went on to share, “I had always had placenta problems. I had to deliver Miles a month early because his stomach wasn’t getting enough food from my placenta. But this was my first abruption,” she explained. “We monitored it very closely, hoping for things to heal and stop. In bed, I bled and bled, lightly but all day, changing my own diapers every couple of hours when the blood got uncomfortable to lay in.” Teigen recalled her efforts to remain hopeful, “twisting [doctor’s] negative words into positives,” before she and husband, John ultimately had to accept that their baby Jack would not make it.
“He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either,” she continued. “We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again.”
The 34-year-old also addressed some of the criticism she received for documenting the tragedy with photos and posting it online.
“I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story,” she wrote, before dismissing the critics. “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Before concluding her post, Teigen thanked her fans for their support:
“I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so,” she said. “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.” Click here below to read her full essay.
RELATED: Chrissy Teigen Hospitalized For Pregnancy Complications