Cara Delevingne Was ‘Homophobic’ & ‘Suicidal’ Before Coming Out As Pansexual
Model Cara Delevingne is opening up about her life before coming to terms with her “constantly changing and really complicated” sexuality, and coming out as pansexual — admitting she was “homophobic,” and “suicidal.”
In a recent interview with Gwyneth Paltrow on her ‘Goop‘ podcast, 28-year-old Delevingne says “I grew up in an old-fashioned household. I didn’t know anyone who was gay. I didn’t know that was a thing and actually, I think growing up … I wasn’t knowledgeable of the fact I was homophobic.”
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She continues, “The idea of being [with] same-sex [partners], I was disgusted by that, in myself. I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I would never. That’s disgusting, ugh.’” Delevingne says her fear of admitting her sexuality was due to her struggle with “massive depression” and the “suicidal moments” in her life. She says some days she just wanted “to be straight,” adding, “I was so ashamed of ever being that. But, actually, that was the part of me that I love so much and accept.”
Delevingne, who’s previously dated Ashley Benson and singer St. Vincent, also explains how her sexuality impacted her modeling career. She adds, “I was so unhappy and I wasn’t following my truth, especially in terms of being a model. That whole thing of having to fit into the box — I’m an androgynous person. I love being a woman and dressing up and doing all that, but I also love being a rough and tumble ‘man.’“ However, she concludes, “I feel so much more comfortable in the fluidity of what it is to be just a human and to be an animal, almost, because that’s what we are. To trust in your own instincts.”
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