Bobby Brown revealed a traumatic secret he’s been hiding for the past 40 years: being sexually molested as a child.
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In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, the 53-year-old singer recalled his difficult childhood in Boston, Massachusetts where he witnessed his mother being beaten and arrested by police officers after she tried to intervene in the arrest of someone else. He was also temporarily placed in a religious center under the custody of social services but was the victim of a priest who tried to molest him. Brown later escaped from the facility after the priest attempted the heinous act again.
“One of the priests tried to molest me. He tried to touch my private parts … At that time, I was a young boy. I didn’t know what sexual boundaries were. I just knew I didn’t like being touched. Some things are hard to forget. That really, really bothered me as a child, and as a grown adult. I think it was part of the reason I did things, other things, drugs, alcohol, why I abused myself.”
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Brown noted that he repressed the memory and held it in the back of his mind because of the painful reminder. He added it was the reason why he became known as a rebellious person against different types of authority and used music as a coping mechanism during his youth.
“I had tucked it down so deep into my soul that I didn’t think that I would talk about it again,”
However, the singer says talking about the past has helped him understand where things went wrong in his life and get through past trauma.
I could see where things went wrong for me. [Talking about it] helped me get through a lot of other things that had been bothering me, especially that.”
As previously reported, Bobby Brown is releasing a documentary with A&E titled Biography: Bobby Brown. The biography will touch upon the highs and lows of his career and personal life. In one of the video clips, Brown visited his daughter Bobbi Kristina and ex-wife Whitney Houston’s gravesite for the first time: “I brought you guys some flowers. Sorry I have not come by. Sorry, this is my first time. But you guys know I don’t like cemeteries.”
He said if it wasn’t for the drugs, the family would still be together and help each other out.
“I think we could have helped each other out. I think she would still be here if we hadn’t divorced. I wasn’t there. I beat myself about it because I wasn’t there. I wish I could have been there for her. We had made our beds and had to lie in them. We always felt that our love was strong enough to overcome any obstacle put in front of us. We would still be together if it wasn’t for drugs. Drugs got the best of us.”