Billie Eilish is opening up about masturbation, sexuality, and how she’s been loving girls her whole life, but only realized that she wanted her “face in vagina” since last year.
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In a wide-ranging interview with Rolling Stone, which was published on Wednesday (April 24), Billie Eilish talked about her music career along with her personal life, including masturbation and sexuality and sexual preferences, like her loving girls her whole life. Eilish also talked about her new song “Lunch,” which she previewed at Coachella.
The song — which includes the lyrics, “I could eat that girl for lunch / Yeah, she dances on my tongue / Tastes like she might be the one / And I can never get enough” — left people wanting more but again fueled conversations about Eilish’s sexual orientation.
Speaking on the song, Eilish said, “That song was actually part of what helped me become who I am, to be real. I wrote some of it before even doing anything with a girl and then wrote the rest after. I’ve been in love with girls for my whole life, but I just didn’t understand — until, last year, I realized I wanted my face in a vagina. I was never planning on talking about my sexuality ever, in a million years. It’s really frustrating to me that it came up.”
Eilish was referring to her interview with Variety last fall, in which she spoke about being attracted to women. She said, “I’m attracted to them for real.” The statement quickly became a national headline and the following month, while at Variety’s Hitmakers event in Los Angeles, she was asked if she intentionally came out in the story. She said, “No, I didn’t. But, I kind of thought, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?'”
Eilish later took to Instagram and said, “Thanks Variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 a.m. instead of talking about anything else that matters. I like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares.”
Reflecting on everything, Eilish has now admitted that she might have overreacted. She said, “Who fucking cares? The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn’t get to say anything or control any of it. Nobody should be pressured into being one thing or the other, and I think that there’s a lot of wanting labels all over the place. Dude, I’ve known people that don’t know their sexuality, or feel comfortable with it, until they’re in their forties, fifties, or sixties. It takes a while to find yourself, and I think it’s really unfair, the way that the internet bullies you into talking about who you are and what you are.”
Regarding her red carpet response on her sexuality and her “obviously” loving girls, Billie Eilish said she tried to think of a reply that would not only answer the question but be entertaining for her fans and the internet to gobble up. She said, “I went into Billie Eilish interview mode, [like], ‘Oh, I don’t care. Yeah, I’ll say whatever. Wasn’t it obvious?’ And then afterwards I was like, ‘Wait. It wasn’t obvious to me.’”
Additionally, Eilish said she has since learned her lesson from that moment, admitting, “I know everybody’s been thinking this about me for years and years, but I’m only figuring out myself now. And honestly, what I said was funny, because I really was just saying what they’ve all been saying.” Eilish said she liked the reporter and didn’t want to be rude, but still felt exploited. She revealed, “Bro, I have asthma out here. I f***ing can’t take a breath.”
If given the opportunity to redo the red carpet and have the question asked again, she said she would’ve declined to answer. However, she did acknowledge that things could have gone worse, realizing, “I’m lucky enough to be in a time when I’m able to say something like that and things go OK for me. And that’s not how a lot of people’s experience is.”
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While speaking on masturbation, Billie Eilish said self-pleasure has made her more confident. She explained, “TMI, but self-pleasure is an enormous, enormous part of my life and a huge, huge help for me. People should be jerking it, man. I can’t stress it enough, as somebody with extreme body issues and dysmorphia that I’ve had my entire life.”
She added, “Partly because it’s hot, but it also makes me have such a raw, deep connection to myself and my body, and have a love for my body that I have not really ever had.”
She continued, “I got to say, looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking ‘I look really good right now’ is so helpful. You can manufacture the situation you’re in to make sure you look good. You can make the light super dim, you can be in a specific outfit or in a specific position that’s more flattering. I have learned that looking at myself and watching myself feel pleasure has been an extreme help in loving myself and accepting myself, and feeling empowered and comfortable. I should have a Ph.D. in masturbation.”
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